My response.
Hey (friendsname). Thanks for your letter and your concern. I want to start this off by telling you that you have nothing to apologize for. We both grew up and grew apart. You with your family and me with mine. There would be no way of you knowing how big of a problem alcohol was for me over the last 10 years. I have good news about that too. As of December 3 rd I am 2 years sober without a single drop. I didn’t want to admit I had a problem with it for many years. And when I did finally admit it to myself, it still took many years and attempts to quit. It wasn’t until I realized that I didn’t want to become my dad whom I have no respect or love for because of abandoning his 3 kids and having no hand in raising us. He loved his alcohol and cigarettes more than his own flesh and blood.
My mom did her best in raising me. And I love her very much. What I meant when I told you that I was upset with the way I was raised, it was not with her. It was being raised not to think for myself. We are raised as Jehovah’s Witnesses in an extremely isolated environment. I was never allowed to have any friends unless they were Jehovah’s Witnesses. We are raised to believe that we have the one and only true religion. Anyone not turning to Jehovah and becoming a witness before Armageddon will die in Armageddon. Nearly 7 billion people will die because they either never learned about him or turned away from him. Can you honestly say that you believe this is a loving god, a god who will let billions of babies, children and young adults die because their parents never became Jehovah’s Witnesses? Or what of the millions of Muslims who are raised in their faith never learning about Jesus or Jehovah? Of the over 4200 religions you believe you have the one true religion. Of the 3000+ gods that are worshipped you believe you have the one true god to serve. You are an atheist with regards to these 3000+ other gods and I am an atheist to the 3000+ gods and one more. We are not that different.
There is a good reason why the 8 governing body members don’t want Jehovah’s Witnesses to get a college education, going as far as calling higher education demonic recently. They don’t want their followers having critical thinking skills. They don’t want you thinking for yourself. Read, listen and obey what the Watchtower and Awake tell you to believe.
You are right that my mom never forced me to be a witness. It was all I knew so I became one.
You said, “I honestly didn't know IF you really needed help and how much and figured that if you did, you humble yourself, and ask for it.” I did this about 5 years ago. You know what I got? My “privileges” taken away. Nothing more. No encouragement, no love, no help. Why would I ever want to try to get help from these people who didn’t care enough about me? John 13:35 “By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love among yourselves.” So I struggled with this for another 3 years. Then I sobered up for 7 months, but all the while (mywife) would drink around me, even when I would tell her that I am going to start drinking again because I couldn’t be around her drinking and not drink. For 7 months she did this and when I would catch her drinking she would laugh and say something like “I didn’t think you’d see me.” Well, I drank for about 5 days and got fall down drunk after 7 months of sobriety. (mywife) then went to the elders without talking to me about anything. I felt betrayed by her doing this and left her. I told her that I can’t be with someone who drinks. Me leaving shocked her so much that she promised me she would never drink again if it meant loosing me. And she never has. So, what did the elders do? Because my drinking and getting drunk wasn’t known by a lot of people in the congregation, but known by a few they decided after a Judicial Committee to publicly reprove me. At the time I felt “Good. For sure NOW they will help me and I will get back on track.” You know what they did for me? How they helped me? I was expecting these strong in the truth elders would take me under their wing and encourage me, invite me out in service or to their homes to encourage me. You know what they did? Nothing. Not a damn thing. I asked for my “privileges” back about 6-7 months latter and they said “With all you are doing, service and meeting attendance there will be no problem with this.” A few months latter there was no word on weather I got any of the “privileges” back. With all this I decided that there is no way this is Jehovah’s appointed organization. Then I opened Pandora’s Box and looked into the history of this religion and its ever changing beliefs. I did the “INDEPENDENT” research that the Watchtower society frowns upon. There is good reason why they do this. There are so many holes in their teachings that they cannot keep afloat.
You said “Those aren't normal traits that you can find in people today.” When referring to worldly people. This is something the society wants you to believe and something I believed too for so many years. There is so much love and kindness from my “worldly” friends. People are not as evil and bad as the society wants you to believe. When you came to be a Witness at 15, I can see from your perspective people in the “world” are all bad all the time. Kids at that age are selfish and self centered. Once you make friends with people in the “world”, you will find that they are not all bad. Not even nearly as close as the society would have you believe. There is a sense of security being among people who think, act and believe the same thing. But now I have taken off my blinders and see people in the world are much nicer and better then the society wants you to think. I love you so much and value our friendship. But I cannot and will not be apart of a religion that will tear apart families and friends because of a difference of opinion. The only thing that has change with me is my point of view. Since I have left a year ago, my depression has completely left me. My marriage has never been better and my wife has never been happier to be with me. The new friends I am making are great and there is no undue judgment on their part because I may believe something different from them.
You seem to be making a lot of excuses for the way I was treated by many in my different congregations through the years. Justifying it in some way to rationalize it to yourself. I want nothing more than for you to become a free thinker and start thinking for yourself. Not letting the society tell you how to think, act or feel. I wish you could see what I see but you have to be willing to be honest with yourself and open that box and start thinking on your own. I know I may be asking too much because of how comfortable it is “knowing” you have the truth. But so does nearly every other religious zealot.
I haven’t tried to contact you much since the last time we talked because I could see how much it hurt you that I was no longer a witness. I didn’t and don’t want to offend you. I am the same person I have always been, just no longer in a dazed trance. I lost my faith long ago and refuse to put blind trust and faith in a god who allows babies and children to be raped, tortured and murdered on a daily basis. There is no way of knowing or even simply proving that any type of god exists. I hope I am wrong. If god does exist, he sure has a lot of explaining to do. I don’t think that you or nearly 8 million people are that stupid, just in a trance that thousands are coming out of every year. All the people that do come out want just one thing, we want people to learn the TRUTH about the TRUTH. I have never abandoned friend or family member. I am giving those of my friends some space so that I don’t accidentally offend them. I will always be here for you. You can call me any time to talk about anything you’d like. I love you too man.
